Pope a Traitor. And Retarded.

Back in the 1980s, that pesky little rascal Iran, was considered not so pesky and so the US was selling them weapons.

Naughty you might think. Well it got naughtier, using the profits made from selling weapons to Iran, the US would then fund the Contras in Nicaragua in their fight against the Communist Sandinista Government.

Now all this may feel like a history lesson but I'm going somewhere with it.

As we all know, and have known for over 50 years now, Communists are the worst form of people. Ever. And currently Nicaragua is lead by a Sandinista - Daniel Ortega.

So it comes with a great deal with sadness that Benny Watch reports that Benny has come out in support of Nicaragua, he has congratulated them on making abortion illegal and especially for standing up to pressure from the U.N over the abortion issue.

Well done Nicaragua. You are officially retardo-nation of the week. Making abortion illegal doesn't prevent it's occurrence, it just takes it from the medical community and into the back alleys. If you want to see what a homemade abortion kit looks like, click here.

There is a paragraph from the above linked article which Benny watch feels compelled to print,

"The pope also referred to the Nicaraguan parliament's decision to reauthorize the country's law that prohibits all abortions, including those for rape and incest or to save the life of the mother.
"It should be considered very positive that last year the National Assembly approved the revocation of therapeutic abortion," he said."

There is no joke there folks. Just an awful taste in the mouth.

Ireland next after in line to die! Secularism and money combine to bring down the Emerald Isles!

Today, Benny welcomed the new Irish envoy to the Vatican See. But rather than a traditional New Zealand welcome that would have involved a bit of singing and dancing this welcome came with a dire warning.

"Ireland, you're fucked" said Benny. "Your economy has been going too well, and we all know what happens when your economy goes too well. Secularism. And Secularism is the AIDS of the Church. With less gay."

Benny was referring of course to the very famous "Corrialis Effect" chart:

Whilst this is a very disturbing graph and one the Vatican should be addressing straight away, it is sadly an example of Cum hoc, ergo propter hoc . There is another chart which quite clearly explains the fall of religosity:

It is a country's level of retardation that the Vatican must be addressing. Somehow the Vatican must tap into a method of re-retarding up the world. Go back to before the Enlightenment and show them the path to true Enlightenment is with mistruths and imaginary friends.

Austria, the land of Dingoes and Koalas

As reported in last week's Benny Watch, the Pope has just returned from Austria, a nation he says he is particularly keen on as it borders his own country. I'm fairly certain India and Pakistan feel the same way.

I think the question on everyone's lips is though, "Did he really go to Austria?"

Whilst at APEC in Australia earlier this month, George W. Bush made the comment that he had gone to visit Austrian troops in Iraq. As there are no Austrian troops in Iraq, one can only assume that as the speech was made to Australians, in Australia, that it was about Australians troops. This leads me to my next point, did Benny really go to Austria? Or did he go to Australia. Benny Watch has found a photo purporting to be from Benny's trip to Austria, but if we investigate this image carefully, we can see traces of evidence that it was in fact in Australia.


It does beg the question though, why would Benny lie to us? What has he got to hide about travelling to Australia?

At this stage, Benny Watch is unsure, but what we are sure of is we are on the trail of solving this mystery...

European Apocalypse

Pope Benedict has come out recently and said that abortion threatens the future of Europe.

Whilst praying at a Holocaust Memorial, Benny warned that Europe may extinguish herself in numbers and in spirit if it embraces abortion and rejects Christianity which he said "profoundly shaped the continent."

Despite choosing a bizarre time to make such a claim (Jewish abortion rates not being high, they can't afford to turn on themselves) and ignoring such things as continental drift and fact Benny seems to believe that Christianity was an integral part in the formation of Europe.

Aside from being a history revisionist, Benny seems misguided as to how the fall of Europe will occur.

Or, perhaps he does know, perhaps he is speaking in code, for his timetabling of this speech cannot be a coincidence. Since he was at a Holocaust memorial, when he said "Abortion" was going to be the downfall, perhaps by Abortion he meant Jews. Everyone knows of the Vatican's history of non-Christian behaviour towards the Jews and Benny himself is noted as having been part of one or two clubs that frowned upon our semitic brothers.

In his speech, Benny said other bizarre things “The other need is to do everything possible to make European countries once again open to welcoming children." This is of course in reference to the rampant child hostility throughout Europe. Whilst people complain about Koreans eating dogs, that's nothing to compared to the European tendency of eating children (Verses 6:25-30).

I think if there is one message ultimately that can be gleaned from all this, it's that Benny is asking the ladies to open their legs.